The Broad

The broad was a bartender in Nevada, but not in Las Vegas. Not in Reno either. The broad didn’t drink and didn’t have to learn how to make a proper one because most of the men who came to the bar ordered beer, or liquor on the rocks or no rocks. One Tuesday the broad got released from jury duty when there were doubts her poor literacy could lead to proper judgments regarding the guilt or innocence of her peers. That afternoon a leather-wearing man came into the bar and ordered a Tom Collins. He didn’t feel like telling the broad what was in a Tom Collins because he preferred to prolong the humiliation of others. The broad did not stand for these kinds of men and told him exactly where he could get a Tom Collins (his own ass). The leather-wearing man was offended and he stood up and slapped his hand on the counter and put his finger in her face and told her just what his ass was good for. The broad broke a beer bottle at the neck so it could be used as a threat as she told the leather-wearing man to leave. The leather-wearing man did not leave and instead proceeded to climb over the freshly waxed bar top. He slipped in a way that looked like a lunge and the broad murdered him in the neck with the broken bottle. Her loyal patrons were loyal witnesses when the police were called and all felt strongly she acted in self-defense. She felt grateful for everyone’s cooperation and taught herself how to make a Tom Collins so no one would have to go through that again. Her loyal patrons drank the Tom Collinses because men will always rally around a good broad.