Celebrity Poisonous Yellow Frog

A frog was on the wall, or somewhere. The frog was somewhere and I saw it and it was yellow.

I said “Are you poisonous?”

It breathed very rapidly and I was afraid of it and it would jump at any second.

I said “Do you contain hallucinogens, convulsants, nerve poisons, or vasoconstrictors?”

It moved. Oh my god the frog moved somewhere and now it was over there. It was over there and it breathed very rapidly and it had black eyes.

I whispered, “Do the natives extract poison from you to make poison darts?” Then the frog did not move.

I walked backwards slowly and said “Poison dart frog.”

It moved again. Oh my god the frog moved again but only a little bit this time and I moved to the corner of the wall and I put my head between my knees and I rocked back and forth.

I whispered “Aposematism is where poisonous frogs advertise their toxicity with bright colors.”

Oh my god the frog jumped at my face and I panicked and I opened my mouth and I screamed like a woman screams and it landed in my mouth.

The frog landed in my mouth and it was moving around in there and I could feel its legs on my teeth and its body on my tongue and it said to me telepathically “I am a poisonous frog I am a poisonous frog I am a poisonous frog I am a poisonous frog I am a poisonous frog” and then it jumped out of my mouth onto the carpet.

I hyperventilated with a brown paper bag over my mouth and I said “I’ve heard your voice before.”

The frog jumped underneath the bed and I could not see him any more and I was very scared and excited.

I said “Wait. Don Imus. No, that’s Howard Stern. That’s Rush Limbaugh. You are from the morning show on the radio. People hear you when they drive to work in the morning.”

I looked underneath the bed and the frog was on the underside of the box spring upside down breathing rapidly.

I said “No. You are the guy that does the movie previews. You are Bill O’Reilly. No Donald Trump. You’re Henry Rollins.”

Oh my god the frog fell and now it was on the carpet on its back and its legs were moving around.

I screamed “Do you contain bufotoxins?? If you do I could totally lick your face and trip out big time!!”

I went to the corner of the wall and held my hands in my face and rocked back and forth and said repeatedly “There are at least two non-poisonous species of frogs that mimic the coloration of poison dart frogs for protection. There are at least two non-poisonous species of frogs that mimic the coloration of poison dart frogs for protection. There are at least two non- poisonous species of frogs that mimic the coloration of poison dart frogs for protection…”