I Would Prefer You Not Contact My Previous Employer
Costco policy says bakery personnel have to put on gloves before using a serrated knife. It’s a safety issue, and Costco supposedly places top priority on the safety of its employees. A serrated knife, just to be clear, can take off a pinkie like it’s nothing. I’ve seen it happen, so I am absolutely in favor of hand protection with serrated blades. Sometimes, however, the gloves aren’t as available as they should be. The day I was terminated is a good example. What happened was, LaTara—assistant bakery manager—had shouted for me to get my ass in gear with the Italian Feast Loaf, which I had not yet sliced. Calmly and professionally, I told LaTara I would be happy to prep her Feast Loaf once I recovered the safety gloves, so as to be in compliance with our policy. At this point, LaTara stated that I worked in her motherfucking bakery and if I didn’t get to cutting the Feast Loaf then I should go find myself another bakery in which to work. I asked if she understood that the blade used to cut the Feast Loaf was serrated. I regret that I raised my voice. I told her I needed the gloves. I only picked up the knife to show her. I thought maybe she wasn’t seeing the teeth on the blade. They’re small. I stepped closer. I asked her to take a good look so we could be on the same page. I warned her that a knife such as the one I held would cut through pinkie meat like room temp cheddar. Had she ever seen a severed pinkie? I had. I had seen a severed pinkie or two in my day.
HI Dan,
Great story!
Did THAT REALLY happen?? O.o
DonnaTN
WOW!
I think I met you once at a reading at UAB. I’m a fan of your little stories.
This is such a great image. I can see LaTara, who I imagine as a black woman, standing with mouth agape and clipboard forgotten at her side, staring in disbelief at the protag. “Oh, you did NOT just brandish that knife at me.” Hilarious. Great story.
I don’t know if I can ever buy Cotsco baked goods without thinking of this… kudos! Caorline
Love it. What a voice ~ outstanding.