Koinonikos
The god of social media was born after Zeus came in a piece of papyrus featuring an undesirable sketch of his face. I could do better! he roared while tossing the soggy scrap into the fire. As his neglectful father left to go knot high-pressure systems into low self-esteem ones, Koinonikos crawled his way from the flames and into the clouds. To avoid Zeus, he step-stoned the air from Olympus, searching for a safe spot until he eventually found a Wi-Fi hot spot. He scrolled down to the humid Greek coast where the briny smell rubbed his healing burn wounds with a vengeance and the humid winds melted his hair unphotogenically. But the beauty of it all captivated him. In his short time on Olympus, he had only witnessed placid pools of fresh water where no laughter swam and no fingers clicked. But down here on the earth, where wireless internet soared through the sky like swan songs, he saw no need for the gold ink and marble communities from which his ashamed father would easily ban- ish him. Why—down here—waves of people and shores of touch screen phones surrounded him. He knew they would all be nothing but eager to hear about his Phoenixesque birth, his escape from Olympus, and, most importantly, what he had for dinner, daily.