Attaboy
“I kill myself over the gap between rationally seeing the absurdity of the lies and emotionally feeling the need to cover them up.”
It’s like you’re this dude named Alucard.
Right.
Which is just Dracula spelled backwards.
It’s just Dracula spelled Alucard, really.
Did you know that Vladimir was a real dude.
Right.
Anyway, you’re this guy with this sword.
Yeah? And you gotta save this girl, Maria.
What’s she look like?
She’s beautiful.
Does she look like you?
I don’t know.
Oh.
She a guy?
No.
So, once there was this kid. And his name was Atta. Which was really weird, because his parents were totally normal. I mean, his mom was a drunk, and his dad raped him, but that was only like once. The rape thing, I mean. But he liked his dad. Because his dad would be like, “Atta, boy,” all the time, and Atta liked that. For obvious reasons. And Atta had a best friend who didn’t have a name. Because Atta was much more important than his best friend. Atta was much more important than everyone. But Atta really loved his best friend. Even though Atta had really normal parents, he was pretty weird. I mean, he only had that one friend because he was so weird. And Atta, above all, wanted to have sex with that one friend.