Overpopulation: II. Sahara

Human numbers grew out of control and the other species grew concerned. Panicked, the animals declared war on us. Every whale was white, every seagull an enlightened bomber. We surrendered after six weeks of stampede- induced traffic jams and cats intentionally missing the box.

They rounded us up and marched us off our lands. Citing recent archeological papers, the other organisms relocated us to our homeland in the middle of the Sahara. They packed us so tight there was just enough room for us all to stand finger to finger. We built houses of sand until they blew away, and then we rebuilt them. We stitched clothing of sand with the same results. Someone got a fire going and we were able to make houses of glass, but that had its own drawbacks.

In the distance we could see fireworks and other signs of victory and celebration. We tried to hide inside our houses but the glass magnified the bright lights and amplified the explosions. We drew the blinds, but they were made of glass, too.

This story originally appeared in Issue 9.2. Pick up your copy today.