Who Put The Dead Lizard In My Rubbish Bin?
1. How did you even get into the garage? The deadbolt was turned and the dog door was locked.
2. Was the creature dead when you found it?
3. Why wouldn’t you just bury it?
4. This isn’t one of those towns where people can just show up at other peoples’ houses.
5. Do you have any pets of your own?
6. Did you keep the lizard’s tail?
7. Were you a bully in primary school?
8. Did you make the tail into a necklace?
9. Are those empty beer cans yours too?
10. How come you didn’t just toss it in the sea?
11. I once found a tabby cat with tire marks across its belly and buried it in a shoebox in a farmer’s field.
12. Lizards’ tails fall off when they’re in danger. It’s a defense mechanism. I read about that as well.
13. It would be nice for people to have a defense mechanism, especially soldiers and policemen.
14. Is this Harold?
15. I bet it is, you were always a jokester.
16. Or is this Jean?
17. If so, why don’t you come over to watch Jeopardy anymore?
18. Are you the person who keeps turning on my bedside lamp at night?
19. Some cultures stick funnels into the ground so corpses can hear the living speak.
20. I bet you got the wrong house.
21. I bet you probably aren’t even scared of dying.
22. The paperboy didn’t care that someone did this.
23. The neighbor woman didn’t care either.
24. Can you please write an apology so I know you’re listening?
25. I bet this is what people mean by unfinished business.