Love, Thy Neighbor
I stole your extension ladder. I woke up one night and realized it would make a fine addition to my collection. So I snuck over, jimmied the lock like I saw you do before, and took your ladder without asking.
Maybe I’ll have you over to see the collection sometime. But I probably won’t, because you might be tempted to tip-toe over at 3 a.m. and start your own. You’ll find the tallest one, stand it against your house, and obligate me to help shingle that roof when you know damn well I’m terrified of heights.