Toll-Free Kale

During the day, my husband snores in rhythm with the dog. Some may say it is cute. I would not say that exactly. Today, two or three beautiful women on Facebook offer me favors. One offers me something I’m too embarrassed to speak about, and another offers virtual grapes. Ken offers to leave Facebook and does. There is something wrong with my home phone—my land-line. It rings, and the caller ID says “Toll free kale.” I knew Ken was gay from day one. It is difficult for women like myself to accept certain things about the world’s Kens because they are perfect for us. Another vague come-on from a Facebook friend goes like this: “I am a very straight man, but a lesbian in my soul…“ I’m sure some men are, inside their souls, lesbians. Yet, if I wanted a woman, I would find a woman. Also, I am married. My husband is sleeping right next to my computer. The dog and he.

Meg Pokrass is the author of Damn Sure Right, a collection of stories from Press 53. Her second collection of flash, Happy Upside Down will be published Fall, 2013 (Press 53). Her work has appeared in PANK, McSweeney’s, Two Serious Ladies, The Literarian, storySouth, Smokelong Quarterly, Wigleaf, and more.