I had a few issues like crying and being mad at everyone. My friend lived thousands of miles from me but she was trying to help me. She wanted me to meet her other guy friend who lived near me. She sent some emails and told him I was a good guy. In his emails he said helping me out sounded like a good idea. In my emails I said if someone used the word good one more time I would break their legs or at least fuck up their email account. In a joint email they said there was no need for me to swear, that they were just trying to help me. I emailed back that maybe I didn’t need their help if they weren’t willing to let me act the way I wanted to act, because after all I was the one in trouble. I didn’t receive any emails for a while so I emailed I was just kidding and that even some people who knew me where I lived thought I was a good guy. I only received a forwarded email from my woman friend detailing cheap airline tickets to the Caribbean. I emailed back that the Caribbean would not make me less angry, but I mistakenly emailed this to the airline and they replied in upbeat sentences, wanting to know how many tickets I wanted. I emailed back that I couldn’t buy tickets because I had a lot of problems and my stomach hurt. They emailed that I should try peppermint tea. I emailed back that the suggestion seemed very holistic on their part and that my idea of what an airline was had been totally blown up. They emailed back that I should never send an email to an airline containing the words blown up. I emailed back that I was sorry but no one replied.

Greg Gerke lives in Brooklyn. His work has or will appear in Quarterly West, Mississippi Review, Gargoyle, and Fourteen Hills. There’s Something Wrong With Sven, a book of short fiction, has been published by BlazeVOX Books. His website is